About me
How could I describe me in one paragraph? I’m not quite sure that I could. In some ways, I’m still discovering who I am as a person. I’ve spent nearly 20 years serving in the military which shaped who I am today, without a doubt. But toward the end of that career, I began to realize it had shaped me into someone I am not. As a senior leader, there are expectations laid upon you that you must uphold. Some of which, may go against who you are as a person. This was true for me. I was one person in uniform, and someone entirely different outside of uniform. As I write this, 2025 is on the horizon. 2025 is going to be the year I get back to being me. I know I’m not the same person who originally signed up for the military, I could never go back to being that hoodlum. But I am someone entirely new, almost weathered…or seasoned in a way. I’ve been to over 50 countries and experienced so many things that the average person just doesn’t have the opportunity to see or do. That’s not written in a way to be condescending, its to help conceptualize how I view things, people, cultures, life in general etc. Its unique, just as your perspective is unique and may completely differ from mine in many ways. But as far as summarizing who I am, I suppose we’ll start from outside in.
health & fitness
On the outside, some would describe me as stoic, very ‘rough around the edges’, or maybe would say I have a resting bitch face (RBF). I think part of this facade is due to my service, and the lifestyle I endured growing up. Those who truly know me, would argue that I am a softie, more like a big bear. Burly on the outside, but loving and caring on the inside. Which is true for those I care about. I keep a very small circle of those I would consider my ‘close’ friends. As far as physicality goes, I spend on average 5-6 days a week doing strenuous physical activity in different forms. I have a passion for weightlifting and shaping my physique. In the beginning of my lifting career (circa 2009ish). You can even check out this VERY OLD VIDEO when I first started lifting- don’t judge the quality lol. I definitely started working out just to look better, build more muscle, etc. After many years, I achieved many goals in my progress toward my ideal body shape. But of course, if you’re a fitness enthusiast, you know that finish line moves further and further away as you progress. I think Dom Mazetti once said this “The day you started lifting was the day you became forever small.” Which is entirely true…you’re never happy. Nowadays I lift because its almost habitual and meditative. I seek the endorphins that I get from lifting more so than the physical gains. It also helps that my wife is more of a fitness fanatic than I am as she is an active Wellness Competitor. One day in the near future, we will be opening up a Gym.
Violence
In addition to weightlifting, I am a huge advocate for violence…in a controlled fashion. For those that do personally know me, particularly when I was younger, know that I was exposed to extreme levels of violence at a very young age. I grew up around domestic abuse, gang violence, and many other things children/teens should not be exposed to. In a way, violence chose me. I wasn’t naturally a violent child, but it became unavoidable as I got older and went through life. This isn’t the type of violence that I ‘advocate’ for. I advocate for the opposite, more controlled, martial arts. I’ve competed in Mixed Martial Arts (MMA), Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ), Kickboxing, boxing and Muy Thai. I currently still train all of these arts, and even teach classes weekly.
Why would a kid who was involuntarily exposed to violence … love violence? I’m not sure why, I’m sure there are studies on this but I elude to it was a necessary part of my life and it can be addicting like anything else. I remember after I won my first fist fight when I was a kid in front of like 100+ people, it was exhilarating. Some part of me still chases that, even at my age. Additionally, being capable of great violence instills a certain immeasurable characteristic, or aura, about a person. It is a super power, especially if you train often, which is what I advocate for. Yes, I love violence and I am prepared to go there in any situations…in fact I’d prefer it over words or other altercations. But funnily enough, the more versed I became in martial arts, the less I have had to use it. So it definitely is a deterrent in its own way.
But I do believe we are getting softer and softer as a society because we don’t drink from the skull of our enemies like we used to…just saying.
family
Aside from my outer attributes, the core of who I am is centered around family. I considered putting this first above physicality and violence, but I really felt that those attributes described me prior to my family tempering me…if that makes sense. I was like an unsharpened or un-tempered blade and my family changed that. My family is what has centered me in life and are the driving force behind 99% of my decisions. They have helped me focus my resources, in all aspects, toward a better future.
I am a father of three beautiful girls and I am the husband of superwoman herself. Its funny because I thought I always wanted boys…because what father doesn’t? I had girls for a reason, this I truly believe. Maybe as punishment for how much of a douche I was to girls growing up…maybe. But likely because girls require a different level of connectedness, particularly as they get older. They have helped me to evolve as a human entirely and without their love I would not be who I am today. Everything I do , in one way or another, is to better their life in any way possible.
Superwoman
As mentioned, I have stated I am superwoman’s husband. I don’t say this to gain brownie points with her or some BS, its because I believe it. I think that any highly successful person, lies someone in the background such as a spouse, that has supported them in every way and enabled that pathway to success. This is absolutely the case for my wife and I. She also served in the military, which is how we met. She served over 6 years prior to separating when she was pregnant with my middle daughter so she could be the best mother she could. Military dependent wives (aka dependas), get a bad rep for being lazy, fat, or this and that. My wife had that choice, but she chooses to be awesome even when no one was looking. She became the best mother she could to our daughters in times where I was deployed overseas, or stuck at work 12-16 hours a day. Not only did she do an awesome job at that, but she went to school full time and secured many different degrees and certifications. She also found who she was, learning that fitness was her passion…and she is f*cking good at it. She has competed on international stages in bikini and ultimately wellness. She is a celebrity in every gym and community that we embed ourselves in because she is a beacon of knowledge and humility. I could never speak highly enough of her and there isn’t a person on this planet that I mesh better with. She truly is the yin to my yang. Oh, did I mention she is super hot and plays any and all games with me to include Dungeons and Dragons? Yea…I think I’m winning at life in that regard.
hobbies - Gaming
I already stated my physical hobbies, which I believe are a staple in my life. Aside from those, I actually have wayyyyy too many hobbies. If I had to list them, I’d probably forget some. From the ones I spend the most time doing, I’d start with Gaming (duh). My gaming ‘career’ started early…perhaps this will date me a bit. I started gaming on regular Nintendo, Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64 (N64), Dreamcast, etc… the console era. Most of the games I played were RPGs or Shooters. I distinctly remember playing a lot of Zelda games growing up and Perfect Dark on N64. Most games I played in my younger years were with my younger Brother. Consoles were the main platform when I was growing up. We didn’t have a lot of money growing up, so I didn’t always have the most up to date platform. But I distinctly remember learning about PC while I visited my father. He loaded up MSDOS games like A Bard’s Tale, or Menzoberranzan. I remember at home we had a ‘family computer’ for surfing the internet on our dial up modem, yelling at each other to stay off the phone while we IM our peeps on AOL. Yea…maybe before your time, maybe not…but if you know, you know. I remember playing games like Duke Nukem 3d, Diablo I, Starcraft, Tribes 2, etc. But my true love for gaming sparked when I first loaded in to Neriak as a Dark Elf Necromancer on Everquest in 1999. The fact that I was in first person in a truly 3d world was just mind blowing. Graphics back then were not great (see attached screenshot), but I had no better reference point. To my eyes, this looked as real as it gets. From that point forward, I was hooked to RPGs, more specifically MMORPGs and everything fantasy related. This leads me to my next major hobby….D&D.
hobbies - D&D
Dungeons and Dragons, or D&D, has become a major highlight in my life over the years. I first played D&D when I was around 10 years old which one of my mom’s boyfriends introduced me to. I loved the concept, the freedom of thought, and I even have modules I wrote when I was 10 on graph paper in a folder labeled ‘Dungeon Master'. Yea, I don’t know why I still have it…but I do. Now my adventures in D&D are much much more elaborate and I’ve played in and DM’d many many many games over the years. Oddly enough, some of the friends I’d consider as my closest friends, I met through D&D. My current campaign that I am running in Germany is coming to a close as we are moving back to the United States. However, this is my longest running game which spanned almost three years! Three years where on average we met once a month, often more. What is even more awesome, is that my wife has fallen in love with D&D. With the right group of friends and the right climate, you can create some truly unique and core memories. For me, there is not a better way to connect with people.
As part of this hobby, I also started 3d printing all my own models (as seen behind me in the pic) and my wife, kids, and I paint them all up together. We are some crafty mofos.
hobbies - Modding
I have a love for modding and building things….if you haven’t figured that already out by my heavily modded gameservers. This carries over into other hobbies, so in a way modding is a hobby of mine. Each of my hobbies, even the ones listed, have an element that can be modded. BJJ can be modded by changing the path you take from point ‘a’ to point ‘b’ in a grappling match, or creating your own techniques and movements. Gaming can be modded…well, as evidenced by EXOS and IronHeim, my most popular Valheim Servers. D&D can be modded as far as the mind can fathom and most of the campaigns I run are home brewed, or have elements of homebrew. Aside from those listed hobbies, I also like to mod and build physical things such as cars, offroad buggies, and more. My biggest, and still ongoing project, my ‘Yoder’ buggy (as pictured here) I built from scratch. I took a 1990 Toyota pickup base, and removed alot of it to include the back half of the frame. I built a custom 4 link suspension system, built the framework for a roll cage, and more. While I am no means an expert, I’d love to get better at fabrication and modding of all levels. I eventually would like to even ‘mod’ my house with confidence! Also so I can do all the stuff my wife wants to do to our house. -_-
hobbies -Writing
I have a creative mind that I seek to exercise through many means such as my hobbies. Over the past fear years, I have learned that writing is something that helps get my creative thoughts materialized into something that may provide some entertainment to others.
Some years ago, I began writing a fantasy novel. Initially, I didn’t have any intention of publishing it. I just kind of started writing and now 100,000 words later I have a novel. I am seeking to publish this novel along with a few other books (even a memoire!?). I suspect if you subscribe to my newsletter via email, or follow any of my social media pages, you may hear about these books being published in the future!
Additionally, at some point, I’d like to set up some merchandise options via an online store…so my books may find their way into that somehow as well.