Gains’o’clock ep. 4 - Don’t listen to that inner voice some times

Feb 21

I almost gave in today.

Last night, my youngest daughter was up all-night sick which in turn affects our sleep. Running on less than half my normal sleep this morning I decided that I was just going to skip the gym. I started to put my work uniform on and about halfway through, I realized I was being a weak little bitch. I took my uniform back off, put my gym clothes on, made pre-workout and finished getting my middle daughter to school before I went to the gym.

On top of this, I could have let myself do a half-assed workout. But instead, I chose to do the workout(s) I dreaded most, even went for a new Deadlift PR. This was a reminder to me that even when sometimes I consciously want to be weak and soft, it is not allowed. I will not allow myself to succumb to weakness. Just because the conditions are not perfect, does not mean I can just skip over whatever obstacle stands in my way. I will take it on, full force, and harder than ever before.

I ended up failing my deadlift PR. But just imagine…imagine if I would have hit it? I was close too, but my body just physically could not lift it. Mind you, this was about my 10th set of heavy deadlifts so that probably could have been a factor. Excuses excuses…

I’ll tell you what wasn’t a factor at all…my mindset. I chose this, consciously. I chose this difficult path to better myself. To some, this may sound crazy or fanatical…and maybe they are right. Its all about perspective. You know what’s crazy or fanatical to me?

Being a lazy piece of shit.

I said it, the thing that most people think but are too scared to say. But it’s the truth. I cannot fathom how some people have let themselves go for so long, or people who normalize absolutely insane things to me such as 64 oz big gulps every day, never drinking water, not caring about what is put in THE ONLY BODY they have ever had, dropping pills down their throat like candy, never seeing the sunlight unless forced, not socializing, not working out…and then wonder why they feel like shit, or are depressed, or suicidal, or have no energy or whatever other negative condition, disease, or diagnosis they give themselves or some bullshit ‘doctor’ gives them.

That, to me, is absolutely insane.

So maybe I am a bit crazy and fanatical…to those people. But like I said, its all about perspective. So, learn to look at life through the lens you want to look through.

In other news, I created a new quote. “Start the week strong, end the week stronger.”